We all know were not in the book club for the books.

We’re in it for the wine and the food and the connection.

At least that is why I am in my book club. (although, shocking to mostly me, I have actually been reading the books. Turns out you can actually read even if you have a baby)

Many times I go to book club, or wine club (I have one of those too) or girls night out and I over indulge. And then I feel like shit. Again, you guys know how this story ends.

So last night I went to Book Club, ate the salad and veggies I planned to eat, drank the 2 glasses of wine I planned to drink.

I didn’t eat the bites of brownie my friend offered or the cold pieces of flatbread that were leftover. I wanted to.

But what I want more is to achieve my goal.

And what I want even more is to just do what I say I am going to do.

To trust myself.

So, for once, I just did that.

And this morning I woke up.

I realized I had just as much fun (if not more - don’t tell my past self that though) as I would have had I eaten the thing that wasn’t on the plan.

So last night I had the same amount of fun.

BUT. You guys, this morning I had WAY more fun than any morning where I had eaten the thing that wasn’t on that plan.

So I am currently at a net positive.

The month we read Little Fires Everywhere. That was a net negative. I ate all the things I said I wasn’t going to, had a sugar/ wine/ flour hangover and felt like ASS.

So, what I have found with this weight loss stuff over the past year is that the weight loss can be the goal, sure. But what I am creating and who I am becoming on the journey is so much deeper than weighting the “right” number or fitting into the jeans I want to fit into.

The relationship I am building with myself is just the most worth it thing ever.