How to delete people from your life.

Unfollow anyone that doesn’t bring you joy.

Delete anyone from your life that doesn’t fill you up.

Ignore negativity.

These are sentiments I often see from very well intended influencers or just normal people online.

I hear phrases like this when friends are giving friends advice.

I too have probably said things like this.

It isn’t bad advice, these statements aren’t wrong.

But we are missing a huge opportunity if we follow this advice.

What if we listened to:

Don’t delete the “self-obsessed” person from your feed.

Don’t avoid at all costs seeing THAT family member.

Don’t end that relationship.

YET.

First let’s ask from a place of true curiosity, why?

Why is that person or comment or whatever so triggering for me?

What in me is being exposed that I don't really want to deal with so it is just easier to delete or ignore?

How can I look at this another way?

What if it is really about me and not them?

Just as an experiment. Try it.

I for sure have deleted people because I thought they were annoying, or arrogant or so beautiful I was jealous.

And then I just went about my day.

I missed the opportunity to look at my own insecurities and reconcile them.

But now I know.

If I get that little zing. It is an opportunity. And from there I can reconcile and look at my insecurities and overcome them.

And on the other side? Confidence, peace, freedom.

Because the reality, which is harder than deleting, is that it is always US, it is always ME, it is always YOU that is the problem, it is never them.

So for sure delete the people, put up the boundaries. But only once you have done your work. Only when you can actually do it from a place of love vs resistance or anger or jealousy or “self-preservation”.