My husband travels for work sometimes. I used to HATE it because I was afraid of being alone.
I was afraid some dude would come in and get me. I don’t even really know what the dude would do but I was so scared of him.
So I would sleep at friends houses. Or my parents house. Or BEG my friends to come sleep over at my house.
But when Brian started going away for weeks at a time this got really exhausting and I was like oh my god I need to just get over this.
So I would stay by myself. But I never really got unscared.
I would build pillow forts all around me. Check all the closets and the bathtub before I went to bed. I would have just the right amount of white noise on. Sometimes drink too much wine to fall asleep easier. Sneak Luna out of her bed and bring her into my bed so she could “protect” me. HA!
But I was still pretty scared that the dude was gonna get me.
I honestly just thought it was a fact that I was someone who was just scared when her husband when out of town. I literally thought I was just making an observation.
It wasn’t til one of my friends called me out (ps thank you bon bon) on this that I realized that this was a CHOICE!!!
I didn’t have to be scared. I didn’t have to do my silly routines. It was actually possible that I get a good night sleep and be relaxed when my husband traveled.
What I teach all day long is that our thoughts cause our feelings. And so my thought, which by the way all of our thoughts are choices, was “someone is going to come in and get me” which caused me to be super scared.
Ahhh Hah!!! So after really looking at it and journaling and talking it out I realized I really want to be calm and relaxed when my hubster is out of town.
So what could I think that I really believed that could lead to this feeling?
I am super safe. I have done all the things to be safe. The security system is on. The doors are locked. I chose to live in a very safe neighborhood. And you know what if someone comes and gets me -- which is suuuuper unlikely -- I will do my best to protect myself -- and if he gets me, then he gets me and we can deal with the outcome and it will all be okay.
And so that is what I think, by choice, on purpose, and it freaking works!
I am so calm and relaxed I am almost to the point of getting excited for him to go out of town so I get the whole bed to myself. ;)
It is so great to look and see what we are telling ourselves as fact and notice if there is room for a shift, a new choice, a new thought, so we can feel better more.
My clients say things to me all the time like - I am just unorganized, I just have to have the house clean in order to work on my business, I just don’t like my husband, I just don’t have the time -- as if they are facts. They are not. They are choices. Which is the most powerful news ever.
Have the Best Week Ever,