Episode 130 | Growing a Yummy Mummy Mindset
Have you ever started a diet, only to find yourself obsessing over food, feeling guilty when you slip up, and ultimately feeling like a failure when the diet doesn't work out? If so, you may have fallen victim to diet mentality.
Diet mentality goes hand in hand with fad diets, leading to negative self-talk, feelings of shame, and an unhealthy relationship with food.
The reason we do or don’t do anything, the reason we weigh what we want or don’t want, is because of our brain! If you don’t weigh what you want, it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s just that your diet brain is running the show over there and you have to take back control!
But it is our yummy mummy mind that we want to operate from. That is closest to our true self and allows us to weigh what we want to weigh.
So let’s dig into how we can transform your thinking to come from a more loving place.
What is a “diet mentality”?
This is anything that keeps you from weighing what you want to weigh, from you being free from food, and from you feeling at home in your own body. It refers to any part of your brain that's not rooted in deep, true, unconditional love for you and your future self. Your diet brain ultimately blocks you from your best freakin’ life!
If you can start to identify it and know when it’s chiming in, you can dress up your diet brain in a big ole’ clown wig so you can confidently say: ‘If I follow your advice, I’m not going to weigh what I want to weigh’.
Your diet brain is any part of your brain that is trying to get you to earn your worthiness by weighing a certain amount. That then leads you to eat in a certain way, and most likely in an overly restrictive way. For example, you might say things like “I better weigh XYZ for my sailing trip coming up so people think I'm good enough in my bikini” or “I can't go to this party unless I weigh a certain amount”.
How do you recognize your diet brain?
Your diet brain will suggest things you could eat when you’re not hungry. It might even come up with funny things like “you deserve it”. But do I? Do I really deserve to put this extra weight on my body?
Your diet brain will suggest that you abandon yourself, your desires, and your needs, just to please other people.
It will suggest that you over restrict, especially if you have overeaten. Then you end up in the overeat, over restrict, over desire cycle again. You can't win when you're stuck in that cycle and your diet brain wants to keep you in that cycle forever because of all the dopamine hits it gets.
Your diet brain encourages moral licensing. It will say things like “Oh you’ve been so good all week, just have this little extra treat.”
Your diet brain is mean and belittling. It might sound like a parent that didn’t treat you well or a teacher who used to get at you all the time.
It will berate you endlessly, especially after an evening snack attack when your kids have been acting like animals all day.
Your diet brain thinks you should be able to lose 20,30,40 lbs yesterday. It sets crazy unrealistic time frames and panics that if you don’t lose the weight, something terrible will happen.
Your diet brain loves to focus on how many times you have tried and “failed”. Even worse, it likes to make it mean something about you and your character or your worth.
The truth is, I don't want any of our kids walking around with these diet brains.
So now that we’re aware of it, we get to take responsibility and change it. Your diet brain would rather play the victim and tell us that our weight is happening to us, and that we have no onus over it. But we do. If it's not our responsibility then we can't respond and we’re stuck for life. But that's not the case. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
Despite all the BS your diet brain churns out, I want you to pinky promise not to be mad at her. We’re gonna put her to bed but understand that she will rear her head from time to time. When she does, try to greet her with humor instead of anger. I personally like to be cheeky. I like to love my diet brain because she doesn't mean anything about me and my worth.
I say things like…
“Oh hey! You again! That’s so cute you think I should have a cupcake because I’m bored. Love that. But I know that won’t serve me honey, so thanks but no thanks.”
Growing a Yummy Mummy mindset
A Yummy Mummy mindset looks like your highest, best and future self. You are allowed to set a weight loss goal but can it be from a clean place, rather than having to earn your worth? You can want to feel light, vibrant, treat yourself with love, and want to nourish your body and move your body well.
Growing up, I got a LOT of conditioning that skinny = good and skinny = worthy. At the same time, I was also meant to eat like a normal human being (btw, in America, that is an obese person). So I was being told I was also meant to eat all these dinners out and always accept my mother in law’s apple pie and that having seconds is totally normal. This is just such a crazy juxtaposition. We don't want to be skinny, we want to be healthy, and feel good in our bodies. We want to feel at home.
When you listen to your Yummy Mummy mind, you get to live your best life, you get to live in the body that you want, be healthy, and love your body.
What does a Yummy Mummy mind look like?
Your Yummy Mummy mind will direct you to eat food for fuel. Remember that this might take a while, and you do not have to do it perfectly.
Your Yummy Mummy mind is calm, cool and collected. If you make a mistake and eat in a way that doesn't honor your future self, your Yummy Mummy mind can look at the mistake with unconditional love and see it as an opportunity to learn.
Your Yummy Mummy mind takes responsibility. It's not your fault but now you are aware, you can respond appropriately, and take action to move forward.
It is ballsy enough to believe that you actually have the ability to lose weight for the last time. Whereas your diet brain is like ‘no, look how many times we’ve already failed’.
Your Yummy Mummy mind is not in a rush. It knows that to lose weight for the last time, the process can be slow.
It knows you are worthy and that is not up for debate. It doesn’t think you need to start earning our worth.
Your Yummy Mummy mind knows you’re safe. You don't have to hustle to be a better wife or get a husband. It understands you and your path. It is willing to understand and look at it from a loving perspective. It enjoys and appreciates the journey.
If we can start operating from our Yummy Mummy mind, we will be able to show ourselves buckets more self-compassion and love.
But when your diet brain decides to rear her head, I have one piece of advice I want you to start trying.
NAME your diet brain!!! It is so much easier to identify her when she rears her head when she has a name.
“OH! Marlene is here! Sup Marlene! Fist bump!”
“Green juice cleanse, Laura?”
“NO MARLENE. Time to scoot.”
I would love you to reach out and let me know what you come up with. Let me know which diet brain name you decide on and send it to laura@lauraconley.com. So freakin’ excited to read them!!
Have the best week ever,
Laura