You Are Not Your Thoughts

Oh-Em-Gee Boss Babes, it is getting SO close to my 40th birthday now! That means we’re also getting towards the end of my 4 weeks til 40 challenge, with a lot of challengers seeing some pretty effing amazing results.

But not everyone will have lost weight at this point. Some of you might have stayed the same, some of you might have gained weight. Does that mean you should just throw in the towel? 

Errrr, NO!! Absofreakinglotuely not. 

I promise you there is a reason why you have the result that you have today. We just need to ask ourselves why we have those results and do it from a place of love and curiosity, rather than judgment.

One of the participants of 4 weeks til 40 wrote in halfway through the challenge to tell me this:

“I was so excited about this challenge because I am actually turning 40 this summer as well! I have 5-10 lbs that I would love to lose by my birthday. So yes I started this amazing challenge and guess what?! I am feeling defeated, I am feeling like I can’t do it, my brain is saying ‘well they are 2 weeks in and I haven’t lost a lb because I’m not following my protocol’. So today I am stuck with this question: Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I lose weight for the last time?”

Can you identify yourself in her words?

I think most of us have felt defeated at some point in our weight loss journeys.

But the people that are most successful are the people that keep showing up, even when they don’t have results. They keep going even when they dont f*cking want to. That is what gets you results.

It is always a thought that's causing you to not follow your protocol. What is that exact thought? Is it that “it’s too hard” or that “everyone else but me is seeing results”?  Once you identify that thought, you need to pick it apart and counter it.

The Think, Feel, Act Cycle can help us understand how and why we feel the way we do. It’s also a tool that we can use to change the way we think and act. Our brain is constantly thinking thoughts and making judgments about everything around us. Those judgments influence our emotions, which then influence the way we act. From our actions, we get our results.

This challenger is stuck with the thought ‘I can’t do it’. Because of that, she’s feeling defeated, which will ultimately influence her to act by throwing in the towel and eating all of the things. Those actions will make her gain weight. That's why it’s so important to recognize these cycles, and to interrupt the thought and counter it. Thoughts are optional and thoughts are choices. You don't have to believe everything that you think!

The challenger goes on to say:

“When I see the sugar, when I see the rolls, my brain says ‘I don’t care, I want that food’. So I eat it and then I say ‘well I’ve messed up the day already so I’ll just start again tomorrow.’ And then it happens again and again and I say ‘Okay I’ll start on Monday’. So here I am Monday morning saying ‘This is it. I’m going to be good. I’m going to journal no sugar, no flour’. But deep down inside I know I’m going to screw up!”

First of all, you’re not bad or wrong for not following or honoring your protocol. That just means you have a normal human brain. Your brain's job is to get you to not follow your protocol. Why? Because your lower brain’s job is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. 

At the start of your journey, it is a bit painful to honor your protocol, and eating the thing that's not on your protocol is really pleasurable (well…for around 20 seconds). 

The most important thing here is that she’s identified the thought that's making her put food in her mouth. This is the path to success, the problem is we just want it to be way faster with way more results. We all wanted to lose 10 lbs by yesterday.

When it comes to “starting again on Monday”...

Have we been there or have we been there?!

Sure the sugar and the rolls look amazing. But you know what looks better? Rocking the bathing suit and sliding down the water slide with your kids. You need to be more ravenous for those reasons than you are for the sugar and the flour. The ‘start again on Monday’ mentality is a huge indicator to me that you are not as connected as you could be to your compelling reasons. 

Find ways to remind yourself of your compelling reasons. Sometimes we write them down at the beginning of the day and then it gets to 9.30 pm and we forget them. Have fun with it, make yourself laugh, and live every moment like it's a Monday morning. The relief that Monday morning will bring is available to you in this moment. You can have the relief that you are seeking from Monday morning right now by stopping, by putting it down, going for a ten minute walk, and writing a compelling reason down.

“Deep down inside I know I'm going to screw up.”

This is presented like a fact, when really it’s just a thought.

You need to be in charge, not your brain or your thoughts. You've got to take the reins.

This is such a problem because we’ve seen time and time again how our thoughts create our results.

So when you choose empowering thoughts that you actually believe, that are going to help you feel the way you want to feel (aka confident, capable, light, alive, energetic) - guess what happens?! You see the result that you want.

Keep going, no matter what. Included in the ‘no matter what’ is when you make mistakes. That is what commitment is. Showing up day after day, honoring your protocol, even when you might have just not honored your protocol. The secret to life is literally never quitting.

Have the best week ever,

Laura