Witness the True Power of Weight Loss Coaching
Ever wondered what coaching truly means when it comes to weight loss?
Most of us probably know what a football coach does but when we hear “weight loss coach”, things can get a little hazy. And as I sat pondering how to make more people get it, I had a mega lightbulb moment…
Why don’t we invite two special guests to step up to the plate and get LIVE weight loss coaching on the pod?! Because the power of coaching is not just limited to getting coached yourself. It’s just as powerful hearing someone else get coached, which is exactly why The Yummy Mummy Experience is done in a group format.
So I was thrilled to chat with Laura and Emily, who both revealed their personal weight loss struggles and allowed me to demonstrate some real-time coaching in action!
Here’s what went down…
Laura’s weight loss problem:
One of Laura’s biggest problems is sticking with what she said she was going to do. For example, when she has tried eliminating sugar in the past, she does really well all day, but after dinner likes to finish off with something sweet. So when she grabs those Heavenly Hunks after dinner, she’s like “Why did I do that? I didn't stick with what I said I was going to do and I made it through the whole day.”
If she ends up having sugar earlier in the day, she tends to go off the rails the rest of the day, aka the “all or nothing” attitude.
Strategies
Ask yourself why you want something after dinner.
“Opposite Taste”
We've been trained to want to experience opposite tastes, so when you’ve had a savory evening meal, you will naturally want to seek that opposite, sweet taste. And you are not wrong or bad for wanting the opposite taste afterwards. We are dopamine seeking beings! But can we seek that hit from something that gives us a net positive or at least a net neutral?
There’s no harm in using a little bandaid to make this a bit easier. So let's figure out what a bandaid could be for you – could it be a piece of gum? Could it be a chocolatey sugar-free tea? They usually won't give you as big of a hit and can help to wean yourself off. Sometimes when we go cold turkey, we need a bandaid to help.
To reward yourself
Having the Heavenly Hunks after dinner is probably solving the need for a reward or some comfort in your life, which I think we can all relate to.
A lot of people use food for relaxation, and for Laura, she didn’t want to move on to the next part of her night, which is cleaning up all the dishes, getting the kids ready for bed, and helping them pack their lunches. She was essentially delaying the next phase of her day and after a full day of work, she’s tired. Her brain gives her the excuse of “let's just drag this out a little bit longer”.
But we need to remember that willpower is not a renewable resource. Think of it as having a container of willpower every day and every time you say “no, I can't have that”, you're pulling from that container. You're also pulling from that container every time you sit down and do a hard project at work that you don't want to do, or every time you don't yell at your kids when you want to. So of course at the end of the day there's nothing left! There's no way you are going to be able to say no to the Heavenly Hunk because you have no more noes left.
But allow power means you gently switch from “no I can’t have it” to “yes, I do want you but I want my goal more.” This is a little uncomfortable, but just take a deep breath, and see what happens as you just let the strong urge pass. Willpower does not have a loving tone. Allow power is like speaking to your child, and allowing that feeling in. Don't believe your brain when your brain tells you allow power is going to take a long time and you have to be really patient–it will take 20 seconds max to let the urge pass.
Be enthusiastic towards allow power, and look for ways to allow urges to exist inside your body and to not answer them by eating the thing. The more urges you allow, the lower your desire gets. This is how you decondition your brain.
It’s also important to start asking yourself why your day is so stressful? Why do you need to relax from it so much? Notice the habitual thoughts that you think about your life that are causing you to feel stressed or not relaxed or annoyed or irritable and then explore how can you change those a little bit. We’re still going to have to do chores, put our kiddos to bed and make lunches for a while so if we can't get out of it, how can we get into it?
Homework: Identify one negative or unintentional thought that you think about your life on a regular basis and then thought swap it. Change it out and counter it!
Emily’s weight loss problem
Over the years, Emily has developed a bad relationship with food.
She tried a diet where all the ingredients of your food have to be recognizable. But if the foods weren't “clean”, then she started categorizing them as bad. If she did end up eating something “bad”, she thought she might as well just keep ruining the day. When she tries tracking foods, she often leaves out any “bad” foods because she doesn’t want to see it written down.
Strategies
Release the judgment
Everything that you put in your mouth and everything that you eat is neutral. Everything that you have ever eaten in the past is completely neutral until you have a thought about it. There's so much judgment and so much labeling, which is so normal because we all grow up in this culture of “good and bad”, which is so black and white. But food really has no meaning until you have a thought about it. It’s completely normal to have unintentional negative thoughts about certain foods that you put in your mouth. But the reason why it's so negative is because you're making it mean something.
Think-Feel-Act Cycle
When Emily has a thought that a certain food was bad, then she feels guilty, and because she feels guilty, she just walks around all day feeling like crap. And then she throws in the towel and continues to eat things that are off plan and may not serve her.
Instead, what could you think the next time you eat a food that isn't on your plan?
We shame the crap out of ourselves when it comes to eating so-called “bad” foods. No it’s not what you want to be doing every single day but equally, it’s not crack cocaine. A lot of us say “Oh God, that is so bad.” But what we're really saying is I'm bad. I am a person who is bad and wrong for eating this food. We give the food too much power and meaning.
As humans, we want to judge the crap out of ourselves. But we do not have to do that–we can love ourselves instead and be curious. And as you start to change this habit, you’ll go through the following steps:
Step 0 - You’re eating the “bad” food and you're not really aware.
Step 1 - You’re eating the “bad” food and noticing this might not be something that serves you.
Step 2 - You’re eating the “bad” food, realize you shouldn't be eating it, but can’t seem to stop.
Step 3 - You catch yourself right before you eat the “bad” food and don’t eat it.
Step 4 - You’re so deconditioned, you don’t even notice the food.
Homework: Instead of tracking food in an app, write your food down in a journal instead. Then, you don't even have to write numbers next to it. But you only get to do that if you pinky promise that you're going to love yourself through it and have your own back. And if you do eat something (which inevitably you will because you are a human) that is not “on plan”, think a thought that feels good in your body. Then you switch from judgment to curiosity.
Are you picking up what we're putting down? If you can really see the value of coaching and want to lose weight for the last time, make sure you go to lauraconley.com and get on the waitlist for the next round of the Yummy Mummy experience (starting in October).