The 10 Year Contract

As the sun rises on our 10 year wedding anniversary we share a laugh over “How did that happen and oh my god that was pretty long ago and look at my hair and I would totally sign that 10 year contract over and over and over again”.

See, when we got married we joked that in 10 years we would reassess. That we were only signing up for be married for 10 years, then all bets were off. We would renegotiate. Or maybe part ways.

Now, this was a total joke. But we joked about it all the time.


And in the back of my mind I really knew we would stay married forever.

BUT, I thought FOR SURE at the 10 year mark, things would be way harder. I thought I would only be kind of into my marriage. I thought I might not “like” him that much anymore. I thought we would long for “the good old days”. I thought I might not find Brian that attractive. I thought we wouldn’t have as much fun. And on and on.

Someone get me a mont blanc and tell me where I can sign on the dotted line for lifetimes and lifetimes with this man because oh my god was I wrong.

Part of me believed that after you get married it just slowly goes downhill.

Thank god part of me also believed that marrying Brian would be one of the best decisions I would make in my life.

So I ask myself WHY.  Why is it so good? Why does it feel so easy most of the time? Why does it get better and better? Why would I marry him a hundred times over?

People say they work at their marriage. And I guess that is the answer here too.

But I think we “work” at our marriage on purpose and in such little bite size pieces that it doesn’t feel like work.

There is the weekly date night. The “Family Saturdays”.

The “project days” when we get the shit done.

The obsessing over Luna that only two parents of the same child can do and not feel like a creep.

There is the fighting for sure. But it is always fast and it is always fully resolved.

There is sex and it is almost always on the calendar before it actually happens. Yes. We are those people. And I am totally excited about that.

There is the common goal that we both work towards.

There are the quarterly “summits” where the money and the travel and the Luna food plan and the career stuff and what do we want gets discussed.

And then there is the best part. The part where Brian lets me be fully me no matter what. Where he loves and supports me and my dreams even if they are a little wackadoodle woowoo.

True unconditional love.

And all of this “work” is very on purpose. It is decided. And decided on again. So it is not an accident we are here. We on purpose have the marriage I am not sure I ever really thought was possible. And it is the best.

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